my brain dances

About Life

2010-07-30T16:52:00.000+08:00

The biggest problem about Christians nowadays is that we're just so comfortable about our life right now and we prefer to be textbook christians.

Yeah, we want to glorify God. Yeah, we want to bring people to Christ. Yeah, we want to be more obedient. Yeah, we want to sing praises to Him. Yeah, yadda, yadda. Aint all these what we keep hearing and the sample answers when you ask any Christian now. Textbook answers. Answers that you tell your sunday school teachers.

WHAT ARE WE DOING WITH OUR LIVES?

I may be wrong, or maybe right, but I feel like I'm at a cross-roads now. Maybe I'm having too much time now. Maybe my mind is working too much lately. Maybe I'm just sick of seeing everyone leading lives that resemble that of zombies. We wake up, we go to work, we sleep. That's zombie-life.

I'm still trying to find the answer. I'm just waiting for 40PDL. Perhaps it'll guide me in the right direction. I know the answer is out there, it's inside me too. I need to search for it. 40PDL will not give me the answer magically. It's there to be found.

I really hope I find the answer.

yeah

2010-03-15T11:01:00.000+08:00

I proposed.
I succeeded.
Praise be to God!

LV

2010-03-07T08:14:00.002+08:00

I'll be going to Paris (most probably) end of March.
So if you wanna get an LV bag/wallet/scarf/towel, watever la, can email me and I'll get it for you at a discounted rate. Note that I'll charge a bit of commission but of course it'll still be cheaper than you buy in Singapore.
Hurry!!!

The above actually sounds like someone invaded my blog and post an advert! Haha!

hmm

2010-03-05T07:33:00.002+08:00

hmm. let me see. it's been more than 2 months since i've last blogged and i realise i dont miss it that much.
i think i need to blog when my brain is more active.
but currently, i'm more in a semi-screen-saver-hibernation-active mode, which means my thoughts dont get translated into words much.

anyway.
i've been waiting around.
occasional returns to the office to manage challenging office work.
few runs, swims in between.
perpetual investigating.

and i'm breaking my own resolution of not cultivating a belly even when i start work.
as much as my life is stagnant and patience-building, my belly seems to be leading a life of its own, making significant progress, growth and development.

i'm not very sure whether i'll continue to blog much.
i'm not very sure whether there are visitors to my blog anymore.
but i know i'll fly to maroochydore on 11 apr.
eggsxiting.

pilot

2009-12-15T09:55:00.003+08:00

i'm back in singapore. for some time already.
and this is the latest update i have to give to the world.

ps27

2009-11-17T12:17:00.000+08:00

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD, in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Ps27.

anticlimax

2009-11-16T13:18:00.003+08:00

My final flight test was scheduled this morning. Had my jittery nerves last night and I woke up at 5.30am to be greeted by a whole bunch of low clouds. Planned out the flight and everything, went to find the Chief and off we went.
After taking off, we could see the low clouds werent going to allow us to do much, so we turned back. Oh man, the feeling is so anti-climatic. The whole weekend of gearing up for it suddenly went "poof". And now it's a time of waiting and anticipating.
I don't really know how to describe this feeling. This feeling of all-ready-to-go-home, and now, it's hmm-dunno-how-long-i-have-to-wait feeling.
I'm really amazed at God's timing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It just so happen that the big bosses are coming in for a visit this week and so the Chief is going to be busy. Moreover, the weather for this week aint exactly summer-fantastic. The timing is immaculate. This whole bunch of stuff may bring frustrating delays. It's really a time of anticipation. And I'm wondering how will God bring this to completion. I just hold on to the faith that God's timing is always right. It's never a day early, never a day late. And all His delays are planned immaculately to always show His glory at the end. It's just up to me, to hold on to this faith and trust that He knows. He knows what's going on, and He knows when's the best. I just really hope that I'll be able to clear it soon.
And now, Let God be God.

'Cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
~Corrinne May "Everything in its time"...

here

2009-11-11T14:41:00.002+08:00

Last few flights left.
You know how the stress can build up when you know the completion is really near and yet you don't know whether/when you'll be able to complete it.
I cannot tell you how much I want to pass everything and go back to Singapore.
And have a few months of break before flying this really beautiful aircraft.
The Learjet45!

It's in God's Hands.

trust

2009-10-23T16:34:00.002+08:00

it really takes patience to train patience.
when things cant be rushed, they cant.
just like how a farmer wishes so much that his crops will grow and prosper, he cant rush them.
the seeds will never grow if he prods them continuously.
if he disturbs them every day to see if they're growing, they'll never grow healthily.
he can only be patient.
some things are really best left to themselves.
it takes wisdom to be patient, it takes maturity to be patient.
better to surrender, and it gets easier.

do you trust Me?

easy

2009-10-11T21:32:00.003+08:00

life is actually simple.
it's just to love Jesus with all your heart.
just that.
i really wished i could abide by that.

i had a good flight yesterday.
and i am 100% sure that i didnt do it.
God helped me.

it was a pretty sight to be flying over the Perth city and swan river.
one of the instances when i felt, 'wow'.

many

2009-10-01T10:45:00.003+08:00

yeah, it's been some time.
and there's like close to a thousand things i miss about Singapore.
u'll never understand how much i yearn for the sight of Changi Airport, the drive on ECP then to AYE, exit to Clementi Road(or whatever that road is called), turn left and turn right, turn left into the carpark after the Esso (or whatever petrol station that is), park the car in any spot (bird shit or no bird shit prone), take the lift up to 24th floor and open the door.

i really cannot tell you how much i miss that.

cloudy

2009-09-04T10:05:00.002+08:00

My training here in Perth involves a lot of waiting (for the instructor to be free, for the weather to be good etc etc). Yet sometimes, it's a mad rush when there's opportunities to fly. This waiting & rushing reminds me of the army phrase "Rush to wait, wait to rush". More importantly, I related very well to the following article. Hope it will encourage all of us to be sensitive to God's leading and not take matters into our own hands.

"Moving With the Cloud

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Thursday, September 03 2009

"Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out." Numbers 9:21b

God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, and they had to pass through the desert on their way to the Promised Land. God was their guide by means of a cloud that appeared overhead. When it moved, they moved. When it stopped, they stopped - sometimes a day, a week, even a year.

Imagine living with the uncertainty of this situation. One day you work at getting your "house" in order, only to have to pick up the stakes and move. Your ability to plan is totally gone. But even greater is the temptation to move when the cloud did not move because you felt it was time to move. For the Israelites, perhaps the grass was no longer green. Perhaps the water was not easily accessible. Perhaps the bugs were a problem. Whatever the case, they were strictly prohibited from moving if the cloud did not move.

It is still the same today. We are not to move unless the Holy Spirit instructs us to do so. We are not to make that business deal on the basis of whether or not it makes sense, but on the leading of the Holy Spirit's "cloud" in our life. It is a difficult process to move only when we are directed, and to remain if we are not. The pressure is always upon us to move, to plan, to act. But if we act, we may move into a place where the presence of God may not be. Hence, the rub. The Christian workplace believer must learn to move when God says move; it is a sign of complete surrender and dependence on God's Spirit to direct our steps.

Ask God today if you are sitting under His cloud. Or, have you moved when He said stand still? He will show you. "

Anyway, I'm finally in Phase 3. Thank God for leading me through all these while. It has taken much longer than I'd hoped, and the process rougher than I'd liked, but it's testimony that I have to rely on God even more. His ways are higher than my ways, and I guess my plans don't always coincide perfectly with God's. Am still walking on.

waiting

2009-08-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

Waiting on God
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Monday, August 10 2009

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!" Isaiah 30:18

Have you ever noticed that God is not in a hurry? It took 40 years for Moses to receive his commission to lead the people out of Egypt. It took 17 years of preparation before Joseph was delivered from slavery and imprisonment. It took 20 years before Jacob was released from Laban's control. Abraham and Sarah were in their old age when they finally received the son of promise, Isaac. So why isn't God in a hurry?

God called each of these servants to accomplish a certain task in His Kingdom, yet He was in no hurry to bring their mission into fulfillment. First, He accomplished what He wanted in them. We are often more focused on outcome than the process that He is accomplishing in our lives each day. When we experience His presence daily, one day we wake up and realize that God has done something special in and through our lives. However, the accomplishment is no longer what excites us. Instead, what excites us is knowing Him. Through those times, we become more acquainted with His love, grace, and power in our lives. When this happens, we are no longer focused on the outcome because the outcome is a result of our walk with Him. It is not the goal of our walk, but the by-product. Hence, when Joseph came to power in Egypt, he probably couldn't have cared less. He had come to a place of complete surrender so that he was not anxious about tomorrow or his circumstances.

This is the lesson for us. We must wait for God's timing and embrace wherever we are in the process. When we find contentment in that place, we begin to experience God in ways we never thought possible.

timing

2009-07-31T19:53:00.005+08:00

Talk about God's timing.

We've been enjoying the longest stretch of good weather this whole week. No rain, minimal clouds, low winds. Perfect time to fly and fly and fly. To catch up on all the lost time during the bad rainy weeks that passed.
And then I fell sick for the first time in Jandakot.

Thankfully I did clear some flights in the beginning of the week, but the flu just put me out of action since Wed. I had planned to clear more stuff this week, and I was a bit frustrated that why did I fall sick this week.I was thinking why must I fall sick on this particular week. Especially since my birthday's was on Thursday! (It meant that I spent my 26th birthday feeling horrible and on my bed fighting the illness.)

Then today, I found out the reason.

I was waiting expectantly for my birthday gift from Singapore the whole week. Hehe. I kindof visited the mail table a few times but didnt get anything. Then today, my friend passed me a parcel and this is exactly what my girlfriend had prepared for me.

It was a rattan basket with lots of sweet sweet stuff inside, and it was so apt cos it was packaged like a first aid kid. Obviously, she didnt have any idea I would fall sick this week. She just wanted to package everything inside like a care pack. An innocent birthday gift pack which turned out to be so suitable at this time since I really fell sick!

In the basket, it also contained "CG Pills" which had small little messages written by my caregroup members.

I guess these capsules and pills would not have meant so much if I was healthy and fine. The fact that God made me fall sick this week just makes this whole present take on an additional meaning to it.

Who would have thought falling sick would have such a reason?
Sometimes, when something happens, we just have to walk through it, and sometimes, the reason behind it gets revealed to us.
And again, I'd like to testify that God's timing is always the best.

thanks

2009-07-03T11:49:00.002+08:00

things aint pretty at the moment.
struggling with a particular sortie and have been stuck for quite a few weeks, may even come up to a month.
it can be attributed to many reasons, instructor, weather, my own inadequacies.
the feelings of desperation, frustration, depression definitely wells up.
it feels like having a hairy heart, a wanna break free spirit, and even a feeling of giving up.
but despite all this, i'm really glad that i have a God.
a true and living God who can give joy to the heart. who can make things beautiful even when it's rotten. who can assure that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. who can make me calm in the midst of a storm. who can show me that there's things to give thanks for even when the chips are down.
somehow, someway or another, it seems like His children have it more difficult. but i guess that's evidence that He's amazing.
because when difficult times come our way, only His grace and His power will shine through all this.

children

2009-06-20T22:31:00.002+08:00

maybe inside this adult shells of ours, lies children who struggle to fit the skin.
the bones, the flesh and the skin had grown too fast for the heart and mind inside. time overtook the character within.

maybe the workplace is merely an extension of the neighbourhood playground.
the bullies pushing the younger & the weaker ones around. the tallest deciding who becomes the police and who becomes the terrorist, or as we used say: huai ren. and the odder-looking ones getting this compliment: "and you shall just sit at the corner and watch us because i don't like you." the stronger one who takes away the ball of the younger one and gives the perfectly okay face. we were never on the same playing field anyway. but at the end of the day, we're all players in this simple act of life. it's just that we choose to make it difficult.

and maybe
where's the freedom that i wanted.

paradox

2009-06-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

whats the use of a blog when i cannot say what i want to say.

alive

2009-06-13T21:27:00.004+08:00

wow, it's been more than a month since i updated this blog!
i'm having a case of verbal constipation.
there are things in my mouth but i cant say them.
because i need to protect my own interests.
so in the meantime, just exercise your imagination and guess what's going on.

hmm, one thing that is more interesting is that i realise that there are billions of permutations and combinations of qualities/characteristics of humans in this world. and this phenomenon causes disagreements amongst people. it bothers me when people around me have all these complications.
i'm no beauty queen but i'd really love to have world peace.

i think i'm becoming too grown-up. ie. boring. funny things just dont come to mind so easily. maybe it's the air, maybe it's the work. maybe it's the stress, maybe it's just time. i want to grow young again.

Observation

2009-05-10T13:48:00.001+08:00

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on "Observation." In the class, he took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement and disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head: "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

love

2009-05-03T21:48:00.001+08:00

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus

O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

For me it was in the garden
He prayed: “Not My will, but Thine.”
He had no tears for His own griefs,
But sweat drops of blood for mine.

Refrain

In pity angels beheld Him,
And came from the world of light
To comfort Him in the sorrows
He bore for my soul that night.

Refrain

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

Refrain

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.

Refrain

paradox

2009-05-01T10:11:00.002+08:00

the grass is always greener on the other side.

when the weather's bad, winds' strong, schedule's too full, yaddayadda, i complain.
alamak, why cannot fly. i wanna go back early one leh.
when the weather's good, winds' light, slots allocated, yaddayadda, i complain.
alamak, why everyday fly. tiring one leh.

what more can i say?

gift

2009-04-25T13:48:00.002+08:00

the weather here lately has been gloomy and cold.
i guess it gets to me at times.
however there's a piece of great news that made it better.
little Candra is born!
so happy for wg and yh.
and hearing that they're all healthy and happy makes it really fantastic! :)
thank God for blessing them!

there's always small things to give thanks for.

question

2009-04-21T18:16:00.002+08:00

everyday here is a question mark.
we never know what's going to happen.
a gazillion things may happen and i am learning to take one day at a time.
perhaps two days. today and tomorrow.
other than that, i dont really dare to think too much.
i'm learning to just depend on God for each day.
because i know very well, that no matter what, God is here with me every single day.
that's one of the more important lessons i'm learning here.

still here

2009-04-20T12:05:00.002+08:00

i just dont feel like blogging here nowadays.
nothing much to say...
but i've been witnessing God's work lately.
two of my closer friends here cleared their solos.
another one is close to clearing too.
and the amazing thing is that their flights were amazingly good.
they felt that their flights just improved overnight dramatically and it''s only due to God's power.
God really has the ability to turn things around for the better and we never really know when He's going to do it. it's only in His timing.

i'm learning many things here.
learning to face up to challenges.
to be courageous.
to be bold.
to make decisions.
to rely on God.
to draw closer to God.
to ask God for requests.
to be faithful.
to hold faith.
to be firm.
to be independent.
to be a man.
"for God did not give us a spirit of timidty, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline"
~ 2 Tim 1-7.

sofine

2009-04-02T16:20:00.004+08:00

to break the monotony of a cadet's life, i took the chance to be a writer for our quarterly college publication and this gave me a chance to have a really interesting day yesterday!

first off, we went to visit the Perth firebombers in the morning. They use these helicopters to fight fires like bushfires and it's way cool. The water tanks under the choppers can contain up to 1100 litres of water and can offload that in like 2 seconds! And they have another chopper that can collect intel and capture infra-red pictures of fires through all the billowing smoke to identify the fire spots. In each chopper, they have a pilot and a fireman, and they coordinate with other choppers and also fire engines on the ground to fight the fire together. It's almost like watching those kind of movies where they set off on missions and save peoples' lives.

then we headed off to Perth International Airport to have an interview with the Singapore Airlines Perth Station Manager. He was really helpful and helped to answer many of our queries and i realised that his job is also another form of fire-fighting everyday. He's gotto deal with all sorts of problems and he's like the boss of the operations in the SQ office in Perth.

we also covered the inaugural SQ Airbus 330 flight into and out of Perth. It was so exciting to receive a new aircraft and we were all like little kids discovering a new toy. I made my friend take a photo of myself in the business class seat! Shiok man!

we ended the day with a visit to the newly renovated SQ lounge. It's really uber cool inside and has a really metropolitan feel to it. I want my future house to have such decor! And here's me pretending to be some SQ frequent flyer.

nice day overall!

learjet

2009-03-30T16:53:00.003+08:00

we have a visitor to our college and she's one sexy lady.
it's the Learjet 45!
this is the aircraft I'll train on in Brisbane if I successfully complete my training here in Jandakot.
it's such a beautiful aircraft.
if you dont see it often, that's because you cant afford one.
it's a rich man's toy, the private jets that people buy.
this is the aircraft which rich people in America buy and fly to Paris for croissants, then to Japan for sushi and back home to sleep.
let these pictures capture you:

hold

2009-03-26T22:53:00.003+08:00

too many factors to make or break us.
winds,
temperature,
clouds,
rain,
visibility,
instructor,
scheduling,
aircraft availability,
airspace availability,
planning,
traffic,
etc etc etc.
there are really too many factors that are out of our control.
we cannot depend on ourselves.
and that's why my friends and i are really clinging onto God.
people have warned us that our jobs may make us stray away from God.
but at the current moment,
we're praying more than ever.
trusting in God more than ever.
holding onto Him more than ever.

thank God.

un

2009-03-24T23:07:00.002+08:00

happy.

solo

2009-03-11T20:52:00.002+08:00

thank God that i finally cleared my solo!
:)
had a minor case of anxiety yesterday night, but this verse really spoke to me a lot and helped to calm my nerves.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7
This verse felt so alive yesterday when i knew i just had to rely on God.
so thank God once again!

it's not the end. it's just the beginning.

time

2009-03-03T11:08:00.002+08:00

the sad truth is, i flew THREE times in february.
one full month and i only flew THREE times.
how to go back early?!
and that's when this song comes to mind.
happy to share this song with you guys:

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time
~ "everything in its time" corrine may

boys&girls

2009-03-02T09:47:00.004+08:00

yesterday an enlightening day to me.

i FINALLY realised an amazing truth to this world,
which half of human's population has often failed to recognise.
it's a mortal mistake for that particular half to not even be aware of it.
(and kindly take the following with a pinch of salt and humour.)

Girls are like fancy boxes of 248 color colored pencils.
something like this:

they're extremely complex and they bring out 1837912304270283 different kinds of emotions when mixed in different ways.
they're complex because a thing is not always just a thing.
blue. is not just blue.
it can be sky blue, baby blue, ocean blue, cornflower blue, navy blue and whatever blue they may call it.
just like a kiss is not just a kiss.
they can be categorised into friendly kiss, passionate kiss, light kiss, firm kiss, gentle kiss and whatever kiss they may name it.

and now, Guys are like your 4 color OHP marker pens.

yes, four colors is all we need.
they are much more simpler and they are direct.
red is red.
dont even tell me there's light and dark red, because red is red.
four colors just what we need.
much akin to food, water, shelter and sex.
you cant mix those colors up because they'll get all smudgy and nasty.
dont even think of using them in other ways as they're not meant to be like that.
you can throw them around, be rough with them, sit on them, stand on them, sleep on them.
and they'll just be the four color marker pens when you first bought them.

i guess this entry is supposed to be taken in a funny manner and please dont flame this blog.

time

2009-02-18T19:05:00.003+08:00

here's a sneak preview into my life here.

30% - duties. all sorts. (recep, kitchen, OPS, driver, gardening.)
30% - sleep
20% - help my coursemates to cut their hair
15% - watch movie, surf net, read, run
3% - eat
1% - bathe
0.5% - toilet
0.3% - semi-conscious-state
0.2% - FLY

that's really the amount of flying i do down here.
i feel like pulling my hair out at times.
but i'm trying very hard to have faith in God and believe that He knows best.

veeday

2009-02-13T23:56:00.003+08:00

HAPPY VDAY EVERYBODY!

here's a photo i chanced upon to celebrate this special day!

(left to right)
Yile's boyfriend blowing a kiss to yile.
Yijie's boyfriend's brother blowing a kiss to yijie's boyfriend, who wants to blow a kiss to yijie.

and actually the main motive to post that picture is to showcase my brother!
look how cute and how skinny he was!!!!!!!
now, he's become a jc_dude.

2009-02-09T12:36:00.002+08:00

havent been flown since 31 Jan.
weather hasn't been kind.
the scheduling neither.
when i got near the runway, traffic congestion made me cancel my flight.
it's all pretty frustrating when i want to go back early.
same applies to the fellow inmates here.
i'm still trying to learn to take things easily.
i know God has everything planned, but sometimes i just wanna rush it a little and tell God "c'mon c'mon c'mon".

my room's in perpetual semi-darkness cos my roommate is an expert at the art of hibernating.
it can get pretty depressing without the sun and light.
and constantly sitting at the table, staring at the laptop screen, watching shows and surfing net, it just makes me feel like a complete geek, if i'm not already are one.
the room is turning into a cell. claustrophobic cell.

Perth is an alright place with some pretty interesting sights.
but the weather can be rather unforgiving.
strong cold winds, or else it's the crazy heat.
Singapore is hot, but at least it's more or less about the same all year round.

i feel my stomach fats piling on my waistband if i continue repeating my days.
i need a breakthrough, really i do.

anyway, Vday coming, so go grab your dear one and tell him/her you love her already.
are you waiting for?
saying i love you aint just reserved for vdays of course!

newride

2009-01-26T10:41:00.003+08:00

the whole town is just starin' at the latest babe in town!
my cool blue honda civic!

okay, this angle of the picture does not justify the sportiness it has.
it's the ultimate babe magnet, with its curves and shine.
(if you overlook the odd dents here and there.)

it's so hot that with the cool dudes in this hot car,
we're definitely going to rock all the babes in town,
with them yelling "why isnt there space for all of us?"
so can someone please bring the booze, turn on the thumping music,
and everybody should just join in my chorus and sing it!
BOOTS WITH THE FUR (WITH THE FUR)
MY COOL CAR, EVERYONE'S LOOKIN' AT HER!
SHE HIT THE FLOOR,
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
THE FUEL CONSUMPTION IS LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW

(on a serious note,
the fuel indicator has not dropped from FULL even tho we have travelled quite a lot.
it might be the fuel consumption is really low low low low low
or might be a faulty fuel indicator needle.)

yohoho

2009-01-24T10:20:00.002+08:00

wow, been some time since i last updated!
hmm, many things have happened and so it's kindof hard to know where to start.
so it'll be a random thing.

i have been to Perth City, Southlands Mall, Garden City Mall.
only.
tt's all.
it leaves me with a HUGE part of Perth for us to explore till the day i get my butt on the SQ plane back to Singapore.

i have flown 6 sorties to date.
not fast not slow.
alright performance, nothing spectacular.
the main thing is that the weather here makes it rather turbulent and challenging to control the plane.
my instructor told me to control it with finesse.

i just bought the ultimate babe magnet.
a metallic sparkling blue honda civic which will wow anyone on the streets.
okay, i'm lying.
it's just a blue honda civic which needs quite a fair bit of washing and touching up cos the paintwork aint exactly perfect and the previous owner obviously has had quite a fair bit of fun with this car.
hmm, no, it doesnt have stains or smells. just rubbish here and there in this car.
good thing is that it's only $2750!
could have brought the price lower if we had time, but well,
we have to spend good money for a car that will pull in all the babes into this bengmobile!

we had our yusheng and steamboat in college yesterday.
messy affair as usual.

on the whole, i'm doing fine here.
just bouts of i-miss-singapore once in a while, though nothing really serious at the moment.

photos of all the fun here will be posted on my off days!

off

2009-01-14T19:28:00.001+08:00

after one week in perth, i suddenly realised i forgot to thank the people who sent me off that day! my goodness.
big thanks to all who came.
it was definitely all your nonsense and crap that lifted my spirits that i actually forgot to cry.
though i really wanted to have more time with everyone, i knew it was time for me to take a further step in my training.
it'll be quite some time before i see changi airport again,
and i hope the next time i see changi, i will be smiling because i have completed my training.

here's are some of the photos of the motley crew.

everyone who came. the old, the young, the boys, the girls.
thank you so very much.

this photo reflects their true feelings.
they're actually happy that i'm leaving.
with all their thumbs up, fists up.
thank you so very much.
oh c'mon, i aint that bad right.

my caregroup.
every saturday is going to be different without them.

love inc.
in case you're dense in the head,
or in case we're just too lousy,
the word we're forming is L-O-V-E.

yup, and this is exactly what i wanna tell everyone.
i love you guys manz.

i've got too many photos taken that day.
so i aint gonna post everything.
if you remember taking a photo with a handsome dude, ie. me, and you've been dying to have that photo, do drop me an email and we'll work something out.

jdkphotos

2009-01-13T09:31:00.004+08:00

when i go out, i become trigger-happy.
or else buy camera for what?!
here's some evidence that i'm in perth, and not in some fantasy island.

my humble little room
din show my roommate's section because you can just imagine a pig sty and you'll get it.

my table. it has a corkboard, a table with no drawers, and a shelf.
if you look carefully, there's a tigger soft toy.
which my friend likes to bully.
one day, i'm going to murder him for that.

my colleague, hsienwei.
he's part of the hobbit_gang.
in the background is my roommate, laiheng.
he says that he has a new name, Ah Fit.
because he's been playing bball, and gg to the gym.
i doubt it'll last.

a close up of Ah Fit.
Ah Fit claims that people thinks that he resembles Luo Jia Liang.
some people are just so disillusioned.

this is my accommodation block.
looks pretty good yeah?
well, that's my home for the next many months.

that's about it.
will take more pictures in the days to come!

2009-01-12T10:27:00.002+08:00

life's pretty alright here in Jandakot Airport.
the beds are really comfy and so my roommate is still in dreamland at this hour.
best thing is that we have more time to sleep in than back in Seletar.
the food's pretty good too. mostly Asian food and the desserts are quite satisfying.
how does apple strudel, ice cream cake, cheesecake, danish pie sound to you guys?
we have a whole lot of cereal to choose from, and we have eggs, noodles to satisfy our craving anytime.
there's pool table, table tennis table, television, gym, bball court just to make our lives more interesting.
the instructors here are quite nice & friendly and i hope they will remain this way.
there's time to do pretty much whatever you want to, but i'm trying to study more to make my flights go more smoothly.
good flights mean the possibility of me going back to Singapore earlier.
but i know everything is still in the hands of God.
havent found a church to go to cos of the lack of a car, so been trying to make up for it by having QT. now is really the time to catch up with QT.
and also to catch up on the exercise.
went for a jog with my friend yesternight. shiokz.
it's rather hot here during the day, with the skies still all blue.
and although it's hot,
i still miss the warmth of my home, the warmth of my church, and the warmth of my darling.
but nah, dont worry, i'm still going strong. :)

second

2009-01-08T14:21:00.003+08:00

second day in perth.
the weather here is rather scorching during the day.
no clouds with clear blue sky.
the accomodation is rather okay, only gripe is the rather sian bookin/out timings.
can only go out after 1530, back by 2359.
i get one day off in a week, but only after 10am.
kindof worse than army in some ways,
but the food is quite good.
had apple strudel yesterday somemore!
okay i aint got too much mood to blog a lot right now.
will do it another time!

leaving

2009-01-03T16:30:00.002+08:00

i'm leaving on a jet plane. (on tues night)
don't know when i'll be back again.

it's really true, i have no idea when i will be back.
it's weather-instructor-God-dependent.
they say about a year.
i say as early as possible.

been all around buying stuff for the big escapade.
gg to start packing soon.
the inertia is high, probably because there's quite a lot to pack,
and also because packing makes the reality even more real.

so i've been meeting up friends, having good meals,
appreciating how comfortable my own bed is, how i'm going to miss the hectic but neat Singapore.
it's always like that, aint it?
you start appreciating the little details when you're going to miss it.

for now, packing.

2009

2009-01-01T08:29:00.002+08:00

wow, it's 2009!
a brand new year to make new resolutions, to start afresh etc etc.
new years are always cool because somehow, you'll feel a surge of energy to delete all the bad stuff in your life and start anew.
it's almost like buying a new hard disk for your computer, like renovating your house.
for me,
2008 was smashing.
God blessed me ultra super a lot.
and
2009 is special because the most of it will be spent in Perth.
thank God that i cleared all my exams. yup, all of them, and all because of God's blessings.
it also means that i will be 98% leaving on monday, 5 Jan...
(1% uncertainty because we havent got our ticket, another 1% because flights can be canceled/postponed/delayed.)
(the truth is, the 2% uncertainty is my denial mechanism at work. because i havent spent enough time relaxing after my exams and to meet up with my friends. for those friends who i cant meet up with, pls understand that it's because i aint got not enough time!.. i'm sorry!)
inside me, it's mostly apprehension, plus fear, mixed in with excitement.
there's a million things that can happen, and it'll definitely be the longest time i'll spend away from my friends and family.
but i'm enormously glad that i have something to hold on, and that's God's promises.
He calms me, He strengthens me and He upholds me.
and that's what that will keep me strong in Perth.

(for those who reads this post, you'll compelled to pray for me. thank you very much.)

and since i'll be away for so long,
i'm allowed to have a bit of PDA.
oh, yeah, it's MY blog anyway.

<3
jie, i'll miss you.

Godthankyousoverymuch

2008-12-24T17:51:00.003+08:00

i got my ATPL results today. yes, on xmas eve.
(btw ATPL is the set of 8 papers i took last last week, which was really driving all 0f us crazy).
and i cleared everything!!!
it's truly really absolutely amazing that i cleared everything in one attempt and i am extremely positively supremely sure that i didnt do it by my own strength but by God's grace and power.
and i'm not even trying to be holy or what, but it's really what i know.
that's because during class, i aint one of those who shone and could answer everything etc.
i was even kindof struggling through some subjects.
but during the exams, some people got easy papers and some got difficult papers and by God's grace, i got the more manageable ones!
even then, i wasnt entirely sure of myself.
so when they released the results today, i was praying so very hard,
and it turned out to be better than i expected!!!
so here's a BIG THANK YOU TO GOD FOR BLESSING ME!

before i get all high and celebrative (if there's such a word), i still have two final papers on friday. Perf A and Baron... so i gotto go!

not by my own strength, but by His.

over

2008-12-13T22:53:00.002+08:00

yippee! ATPL is over!
so this weekend is mainly just destressing for the most part.
there's still another paper on 26th. Performance A.
that just means it's not time to slacken off completely.
really hoping that everything will pass smoothly, go to perth and come back soon.
everything is in God's hands... that's a really good assurance which i can hold on to.

went to old school timbre yesterday.
it's a much more quiet and relaxed setting.
not like the one at substation where it's more hot and sweaty.
whacked the pizza again... way cool!

crazy

2008-12-07T21:54:00.002+08:00

this entry is proof i have not died/turned crazy during the preparation for my exams.

my exams are going to be over on thursday!
i just have to endure for a few more days.
actually i hope i had a few more days to memorise all the 1000000 terrabytes of stuff but well, i have no say in this.

k. i had better go.

hold

2008-11-18T15:31:00.003+08:00

do you ever have the feeling that maybe God is fake?
maybe just a figment of man's imagination to try to explain difficult things, to be a distraction from the pain, to be a source of pretention.
maybe God does not exist.

it strikes me at times.
that maybe we created God out of nothing.
that maybe everything really happens by chance.
that maybe we are truly evolved from monkeys.
and that's when my faith is tested the most.
am i willing to hold the bible and say: God wrote this.
am i humble to pray to God and say: i still believe You.
do i dare to stand up to people and say: God is real.

when the road becomes rougher,
when the day becomes duller,
when people around me seem to function even better without God,
when i find myself fighting,
when the God who cannot be seen, who cannot be heard, who cannot be touched,
becomes even more invisible,
i find myself standing on a bare mountain top,
and i know,
i defy all logic and reason,
i deny my heart and my brain,
i pick up my little faith that believes that God is real,
and say:
"You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You're everything to me
Lord, you're everything to me"
lyrics from "everything to me" by avalon.

break

2008-11-15T17:30:00.002+08:00

study study study study. repeat this one million times to get a peek into my life right now.
i need a fifteen thousand terrabytes HDD to implant into my head.

visit this site if you want to look at an office that's out of this world.
http://www.gillesvidal.com/blogpano/cockpit1.htm

growing

2008-11-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

sleeplessness, perpetual tiredness, sore neck, lower back pain, dry eyes, growing irritability, pimples, decreasing humour, increasing silence. these are the symptoms of ATPL.
to tell you the truth, the feeling of desperation is growing.

the more desperate i become, the more i know i need a powerful God to be my side.
the more i know i need to pray.
God, i'm weak. need You right here right now.

mode

2008-11-04T18:14:00.007+08:00

mugger-kaisiong-mode activated.

although exams are speeding towards me,
God is giving me a part that's actually rather peaceful.
knowing that God is in control.
that He is a mighty God.
it just makes things that much easier.
knowing that i have a God who doesn't give up on me gives me a peace that's really comforting.
doesnt mean that i dont have to work hard, cos God will definitely help me pass.
doesnt mean that if i work hard, God will definitely give me good results.
it just means that God has good plans for me.
whether i pass or i fail.
it just means that God knows what's best and that i can place my faith in Him.
holding on to what cannot be seen is a challenge,
yet, i choose to believe.
no matter how the world seems to be able to function without God,
yet, i choose to believe.
it's just different.

"Yet I am poor and needy,
may the Lord think of me".
Ps 40:17

btw,
i miss my family and my special girl.

buzee

2008-10-31T00:02:00.002+08:00

i guess you can tell that mr. chong down here is really busy lately.
and that's because my ATPL exams are coming in a month. damn.
it's scary i tell you.
imagine having 8 papers in 3 days.
so if you're taking psle, 'O's, 'A's, or uni exams, YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN.
duh.

i had another smashing weekend.
and that's because it was a long weekend!
i was so motivated to study really hard that i brought back lots of books to study.
and i wished i could tell you i managed to cover everything.
you know, i wished i could.

some of my cg people came over to visit just now!
so fun lar!
it's an uplifting thing in the midst of all the almost suffocating study life i lead right now.
argh. give thanks, give thanks, give thanks.

i have a secret to tell you.
it's that i love drinking mud wine.

weekend

2008-10-20T23:33:00.006+08:00

it's monday. yet again.
had a surprise test. which isnt hardly any surprise anymore, mr. t.

had a rather cool weekend actually.
went to marina barrage.
if you have no idea what it is, it's this:

which looks absolutely cool.
only problem is that it isnt open yet.
damn.
but after, went to marina south pier.
my first time there.
as with many places.
unlike someone.

then saturday was even more fun.
my house has since upped the reputation of "noisiest house in block 336".
in the past, it was just the three of us yelling&laffing, me blasting my flute, kr jamming his guitar, us running around in our stupid olympic games.
now, we actually have a set of drums to wreck more havoc in the neighbourhood.
eat that, neighbours-who-practices-piano-at-8am!

saturday night was even better cos we celebrated my mum's birthday.
she was born in 1954, celebrating her 54th bday this year, and my sister actually wanted to invite our 5th and 4th uncle for the celebration, but we decided against it considering that the other uncles will feel absolutely left out, which aint too good an idea.

so in the end, only these people turned up for the party:

if you're wondering why this photo looks familiar, it actually belongs to kaiwei's blog.
and if you're wondering who's the pretty babe beside me, it's of course my mother.
who were you thinking when i said pretty babe?!

well, the other one is my fashion-consultant_study-nagger_hugs&kisses-provider_personal-jukebox_VIPassenger_phonecall-target.
i think she's a pretty babe too.

the most smashing day of the weekend was of course Sunday!
because i went back to seletar at 3pm!
it's the most fantastic way to end the weekend i tell ya!

the world just needs more sarcasm to make it spin faster.

just an aside,
i am so tempted to buy a nintendo wii right now.

crunch

2008-10-13T17:37:00.002+08:00

monday.
how everyone in the world loves monday.
you know, i was asking my friend that day, why didnt God make the world in 1 day, and rest for 6 days? that way, we would all have much more time for our loved ones.

and exam's coming soon.
everyone's stepping up a notch and i feel like i am still pumping petrol.
cmon man.

i love the weekends.
but without weekdays, maybe we wouldnt appreciate weekends.
so i guess, there's a time for everything.
just give thanks for what we have on our hands.

surprise

2008-10-09T17:47:00.002+08:00

i am surprised that Mr.T gave us a surprise test today instead of tomorrow.
you get it?
the surprise test should have been tmr. not today.
and so, after doing it, i feel like i just ran an army half-marathon.
not good. not good.
the thing about navigation is that one can only do well, if he/she is very updated.
if he/she is very disciplined in that he/she revises the stuff he/she learns that day.
(argh, since there are only two female cadets, let me just remove the 'she'.)
if he is very hardworking, then he will probably ace it.
but it also means that he is very likely to have a lot of brains, but no life.
i would do it if i had 60 hours per day.
the truth is i dont.
and
the sadder thing is,
i feel i dont have a lot of brains, neither do i have a life.
and i really do study. i am not sneaky.

upon reaching home, my friend and i decided to make ourselves feel better by gorging ourselves with a box of 'hello panda: cookies & cream'.
which in no way taste remotely like cookies & cream, and we're actually risking our lives eating it since pandas come from china.
and we dunked ourselves into a pack of 'pringles: tomato salsa' flavour.
i'm feeling like maybe 0.254% better.

the bottomline is, i need a good cone of bailey's ice cream.
or maybe a dose of 'grey's anatomy'.
or just a hug will do.
however, hugs are not that welcome in an environment of 5 guys.
i once hugged this friend of mine who just broke up, and the rest stared at me like they found Barney the dinosaur living in our storeroom.
you know, males hugging males is quite a taboo in our society, but the truth is, i feel that the world needs more love and hugs.
okay, maybe i'm just overreacting.
i just need dinner, bugger.

release

2008-10-07T18:27:00.002+08:00

tables and ~~chairs~~ charts are scary shit.
metres, degrees, miles and feet.

please, somebody help me.
i am just a lonely, helpless boy who's trying to get some bread for christmas.

swarmed

2008-10-06T18:04:00.002+08:00

swarmed is the exact word to describe my current situation.
it's only monday and the work today has been nothing less than crazy.
maybe it's that i'm slow. just can't seem to catch up with the others and i've got to bring work back.
it's times like this when i wished God had made me smarter.
or for that matter, made me more handsome, made me stronger, made me taller, made richer, made me fitter, made me etc etc etc.
but each time, God tells me that i am what He created and it is the best set of qualities He can give me.
who am i to suggest to God that i should be like this or like that.
and in actual fact, if i was smarter, more handsome, stronger, taller, richer, fitter etc etc etc, then i would cease to be the kaisiong everyone knows me as.
if everyone was as good as everyone else, it wouldnt be that interesting anymore.
if everyone looked like natatlie_portman, we wouldnt be able to ogle at jessica_alba or admire julia_roberts.
(replace names with hugh_grant, jude_law and george_clooney, if you're a girl, or if you belong to the other camp.)
what i wanna say is that i am swarmed and i just have to pray to God that He'll grant this snailish mind of mine a bit more wisdom to handle the stuff staring at me.
and everyone should attempt to learn to accept and love who he/she is.
what better way to appreciate God by counting our blessings and giving thanks in all circumstances.
and it just reminds me that the more things i have on my hand, the more i should pray to get more help from Him.

byebyebye

2008-10-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

and this has been a great friend for five long years.
she's been really dependable.
not the most comfortable, not the fastest, not exactly spacious, but i liked the way she was.
liked her enough to include her in my email address!

tomorrow's friday.
this week hasnt been exactly easy, tts all i can say.

firstever

2008-09-28T22:33:00.003+08:00

the first ever F1 night race,
the first ever F1 race in Singapore,
the largest F1 grandstand,
yada yada yada.
okay, as usual, Singapore is first in whatever-you-can-think-of.
but seriously, it is one of the times i really feel proud of being Singaporean.
just look at the amazing lighted circuit, with marvellous views of the Parliament House, the Flyer, the Esplanade, the Fullerton Hotel, the red hot singtel grid girls who reminded me of the girls during beijingolympics.
and etc etc etc.
it makes me wanna sing "we are singapore, we are singapore, we will stand together, hear the ~~lion~~ engines roar".

went out with the jc dudes today.
great fun catching up with them, considering we so seldom have chances to meet ever since we left army.
me myself have been really busy after enrolling into special forces.
my wise old friend (as in friend who i've known for a long time. not old as in old.) gave me a really cool quote after i was saying i dont really wanna grow up.
"growing old is natural, but growing up takes deliberate effort".
how true.

argh, i adore quotes.

i bought a shortsleevedshirt which i liked quite a fair bit
until
my sister said otherwise.

and
damn, i miss you.
and to alleviate it, i clicked a few "agos" after eatin' mcgriddles.

time

2008-09-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

time is something that we all can never get enough!
(money is the other, but that can be left for another discussion.)
time is absolutely relative.
dont you agree that when you're slumped in the lecture seat, staring at the instructor, with him delivering his 1001th lecture monotonously, you look at your watch and suddenly, the 'seconds' needle looks like it's moving backwards.
but when you're somewhere cool with someone cool doing something cool, your watch goes bonkers and the 'hour' needle moves as if it's taken its fifth dose of espresso in a single day.

time is extremely precious.
and that's why we should spend more time doing absolutely nothing.

i realised that 8 Dec and 25 Dec are both public holidays!
and i also realised that 9 Dec and 26 Dec are both days for my exams!
i love all these special days tremendously.

i was looking at some of my old blog posts and i think i was much more boliao and more entertaining.
maybe age is slowly catching up and we all know how people's sense of humour is inversely proportionate to their age.

i have officially fallen in love with this song.
and obviously, the david cook version.
you'll always be a part of me
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby.

i heard another version too. and it's bloody brilliant.

i think this entry is just a collection of random thoughts that have been a result of late nights.
i'm going to sleep before 9.30pm this whole week.
and nobody's going to stop me.

memories

2008-09-10T23:02:00.002+08:00

imagine this.
either (1) you had to erase your memories, and live as a clean sheet for ten years, without any memories of the good times, nor your loved ones,
or (2) you could live for three years with full memories of every happy or sad incident.
which would you choose?

such a thing happened on grey's anatomy.
and a married couple chose (1).
the husband was the afflicted and the wife was willing to go through possibly ten years with her husband having no memories of her at all.
she said "and if that means ten bad years for me, fine. I will give him those years, because I will give whatever he wants. And if he doesn’t remember me, if he doesn’t remember what we are, he’s still my Jorge. And I will remember for us both."

it just reminds me how adam_sandler and drew_barrymore in "50 First Dates".
pretty amazing aint it.
how love can make people do crazy stuff.

peace

2008-09-06T15:10:00.003+08:00

the lack of activity in my blog is due to the lack of free time~
but just wanna throw in an entry to declare that this blog is still alive.

many thanks to God that i passed my tech papers (the first of three sets of exams in seletar) and also my flying phase in seletar.
nowadays, it's just whole day of studying.
truthfully, i would say that i kinda enjoy what i'm doing now.
the topics are pretty interesting and the instructors are rather enthu.
but the lessons are very cramped and so we have a lot to absorb in very little time.

been doing some recording with siyang, bihua and michel over the past week.
the progress is a bit slow but nevertheless, fun.
one thing i conclude: my flute playing skills suck.
and i am an absolute dead strictly-music-score player. ie. i cant improvise well.
and people like to say i blow my flute.
and people like to say i am a flutist.
ARGH!
to set things straight, i PLAY my flute and i am a FLAUTIST.
blowing my flute is and sounds very w-r-o-n-g.

been up meddling around with some dangerous stuff lately.
it's hazardous, radioactive and downright mind-boggling.
it's almost like drugs.
i cant tell you what it is.
if i tell you, i would have to kiss you.

challenge

2008-08-27T22:31:00.003+08:00

"I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit, but here's the thing. I love the playing field."
~Dr. Meredith Grey, 'Grey's Anatomy'.

very suitable.

wellwellwell

2008-08-25T22:54:00.002+08:00

the exam on last friday went pretty okay.
praying that i'll pass all the papers.

i had a smashing weekend!
hung out at orchard, hollandv, imm, hortpark, southern ridges, vivocity, another_church, marine square all within ONE weekend.
and with awesome people.
simply amazing. totally enjoyed myself.

(believe me, she's too cute to be a butch.
she'll melt the hearts of any guy just like that.)

i learnt about how God will reveal His portion for us,
reveal the person we're supposed to be,
and the purpose we're supposed to lead.
in His time.
so we just have to patient and believe in His goodness.

and this week is the last week of flying in seletar for us.

just watched Gattaca.
it's scary how people in the future might be judged just based on their DNA.
not by their belief.
how people can be rejected for jobs just by their blood.
not by their capabilities.
and how people can choose their partners just by the science behind the DNA.
not by love.

i'm having a serious mood.

perkmeup

2008-08-19T20:25:00.004+08:00

taking a break from all my studying.
there's really a lot to memorise and i find it difficult to remember all the stuff.
but well, i just hope the exam on friday goes well.
then i can treat myself to a good weekend of crazy fun.
special events include:
(secret)
argh. i just have to get through these few challenging days.
i have to!

i am finally learning the meaning of treasuring each and every day.
i guess i used to take things for granted and treated each day too easily.
but nowadays, i treasure each day.
be it difficult or easy, each day is so precious and it's really by God's grace that i make it through each day.
i hope this lasts...

been thinking about some stuff, but dont know what to do.
in some ways, my brain's messed up by it.
sometimes, dont we all wish we could have a life's manual or FAQ so that we know what to do.
the bible is the closest i can think of, but the answers are aint too direct.
you know what i mean right?
questions like "should i take up this duty?" "should i buy this thing?" etc etc.
tt's why i would really like to have wisdom... the more the better!

my sister's growing up with her applying for a HDB FLAT, going into her final uni year etc etc.
my brother's growing up with him growing taller, saying wise things that i never expected my BABY BROTHER to say, leading JYF and etc etc.
i miss the times when we were younger and we could have lots of fun and just congregating in our house talking crap, having stupid-lame mini competitions and having all-out-attacks on our mother.
we all have to grow up one day i guess.

okay, this entry is just a bundle of jumbled up thoughts.
my brain's overworking and overheating lately.

back to my books.
i dont dread it.
i just wished that i had more brains to take them in.

patience (II)

2008-08-10T16:29:00.003+08:00

i know i have an issue with patience and waiting.
and so, as i have said before, God likes to give me lessons on it.
and i was reminded once again today by the story told during Sunday School.
it's about Joseph.
how he was sold to Egypt, thrown into jail etc.
God made him wait two years before he was given the opportunity to become the person who's in charge of the entire Egypt. second only to Pharoah.
imagine how he must have been praying and praying in jail, but without any answers.
and two years before any answers came.
it just shows how God WILL answer in His own time.

yes/no/wait. yes/no/wait. yes/no/wait.
how often we are troubled and struggling and hoping that God would do something.
but when He doesnt, we are misled into thinking He doesn't care, He doesn't listen, and thinking that He's fake.
it's really not easy to be patient. in this age.
may the following song be a reminder to all of us that He's in control and He makes all things beautiful in His time.

神的道路高过人的路
神的意念高过人的意念
他的心里有蓝图他的时间不错误
一步一步带领你前途
他立大地的根基他让云彩空中漂浮
是他创造生命气息是他应许照顾赐福
神造万物各按其时耐心等待必要欢呼
啊！……耐心等待要欢呼

hmm

2008-08-02T13:53:00.003+08:00

an update...

enjoyed my birthday.
my flying mates and i went to Causeway Point for Pizza Hut.
and they were really nice to buy me a cake and celebrated for me.
was really touched because i really didnt expect it. :)
thanks C138... esp the Bubu guys.

watched dark knight yesterday.
finally.
i thought all of civilisation have already watched this show, but i was wrong.
cineleisure tickets were completely sold out and had to settle for front row corner in Plaza Sing. but it was worth it.
Heath Ledger's acting - wow.

studying is pretty alright.
although i am rather lost in certain topics, i am trying not to stress myself out too much.
exam's on the 22nd. which is really soon.
so, i guess i'm going to have to work harder.

flew my second sortie on thursday.
it was alright. altho i hoped it went better.

we recently received news of a few seniors getting chopped.
then it really hit us hard.
the reality of the possibility of getting chopped is real and cruel.
imagine the hopes they had built up all these while,
but to see them vanish in smoke.
it has gotten most of us worried sick and scared.
me? of course i am scared.
but worrying is of no use, i guess.
just trust in God that He has the best plans for us all.

well, about a month in SFC already.
there are times when i find it hard to believe that i am here in SFC.
i think if you asked me a year ago, would i believe that i would be in SFC, i would say nope.
but here i am. really in SFC.
it's something i really treasure.
even though the studying's hard, the flying's hard, but i treasure every single moment. (almost).
really thank God for this.

okay i think i had better go.
study.

my nose's running. sianz.

patience

2008-07-22T18:38:00.002+08:00

somehow,
i always have to go through the lesson of endurance and patience.
perhaps God sees that i havent really learnt well from the many past lessons,
and so He keeps giving me remedial lessons.
i dont quite enjoy it, but well, since He's a good God,
i just have to trust that He knows best.
but sometimes,
i really hope that He's more merciful.

getting more used to the life (or lack thereof) here in seletar.
cant reveal too much.

okay. done.

weekend

2008-07-13T16:35:00.002+08:00

my first proper weekend in about a month!
but it's passing like lightning.
havent managed to do much and soon i'll have to go back again.
it's really a wonderful feeling to be able to see all my church friends again.
and happy to see the sunday sch children again. they're always so cute.
well, another week awaits me.
now i really understand why working people look forward to fridays so much.
i totally need more time to recharge.
they should totally change workweeks to four days, with three day weekends.
and i realised that the next public holiday falls on a saturday.
sigh.......

backbackback

2008-07-07T19:38:00.003+08:00

i came back from TWENTYONEDAY OBS yesterday night.
and i was transported straight to seletar.
thankfully, we were allowed to go home after settling some stuff in seletar, albeit for only six hours since i stay so far away from seletar.
then went back to seletar early this morning, did some admin, and could go back at 4pm plus.
but gg back later at ten plus.

dont really feel like blogging about OBS, other than it's challenging.
rather like army.
at times, even more shiong.
but had quite a lot of free time on some days to just laze our days away.
the place is nice actually, but i think OBS pays mosquitoes to torture us.

well, my company restricts sensitive info on the company, so i guess i wont be blogging too much from now onwards.
and besides, i doubt i would have the time, considering the enormous amounts of studying i would have to clear in the future.

just an update, i'm staying in 23 Mornington Crescent.
it's a colonial house, so it's pretty much the first time i am staying in a landed property!
staying with 5 other guys, and the place looks quite good actually.
if you have nothing to do, come visit me!
we have a working television to entertain you!

okay, shall stop blogging now before i start leaking important info.

miss my family.
miss my church friends.
miss sunday school.
miss church.
miss worshipping the Lord.
miss good food.
miss my bed.
miss spending time with my crazy sis and bro.
miss tv.
miss slacking.
miss my laptop.
miss reading for fun.
miss going for dates and movies.
miss lots of stuff in fact.
but i'm glad there's always God to tell me that He is a good and loving God.

flying

2008-06-14T22:16:00.003+08:00

the past week has been cool.
been eating good food non-stop and been meeting important friends this week.
also had CG over my place for dinner just now.
good to see them once again.
and felt good to have them praying for me.

will be going to OBS tomorrow early morning.
it's so exciting that i'm shaking my legs non-stop.
mixed with some fear of the unknown.
hoping that it will be mightily fun, and that i will be connecting with the great nature that God has created.
not looking forward to the encounters with leeches and mosquitoes though...
yup, so i will be non-contactable for three weeks.
see you all soon!

as zhiyuan puts it, 'the turning point of your life starts on sunday'.

and i'm praying that God is turning with me.
big steps forward.
big steps with the Lord.

faith

2008-06-10T00:06:00.003+08:00

just had our 2008 children's camp - "Wonderfully Made" over the past friday and saturday..
thank God it went well!
really enjoyed co-working with the team and i could see that the children enjoyed themselves.

this is my last week before my SIA training starts...
had my haircut today.
went to buy some stuff for OBS.
will be going for three-week OBS in Malaysia starting this Sunday.
excited with a tinge of fear of dunno-what's-going-to-happen,
but i am glad that i have the comfort and confidence of the almighty God.

taking up the offer by SIA wasnt an exactly easy decision entirely.
well, it's clearcut in some areas.
i mean, it's not everyday where i get offered a job that's so prestigious and that promises such a good income in the future. and my parents are crazy over this job.
and it's really a rare chance.
and i'd like to believe that it's a God-given rare chance.
but in areas like lifestyle and churchlife, it's certainly more of a struggle.
it will not be easy on my family, esp my own family, should i have the chance to set up one.
since i will be away for half the time, it will be hard on my loved ones.
it means no anniversaries, no xmas, no CNY, no Vday, no birthdays, no nothing.
and being away for half the time means that i will not be able to commit to any ministry at all.
it means no sundaysch.
(whether you believe it or not, it's really one of the biggest blow.)
and also means i will be less involved in cg and in church.
really going to miss those crazy people in cg.

i really felt it during children's camp.
i know i will miss the co-working with dedicated bros and sis with a common goal of leading children to the Lord. and i will obviously miss the children.
also, i really felt it during worship on Sunday.
i know i will miss the singing, the sermons, the lunches after church.

i am just hoping that i did make a good decision and that God will be bringing me through all the challenges that should come my way.
and that i will be able to honour God wherever i go.
as i learnt in children's camp, everyone has been made by God for a purpose.
perhaps my purpose to be a good pilot and honor God in ways i have not realised.
i really have to hang on to God.

well, i am pretty sure this job will make me grow.
the time has arrived for me to leave a student's life and to lead an adult's life.
as much as i dont wanna, and as much as i adore status-quo,
there is really nothing i can do but take bold steps forward.
in faith.
it's time for me to grow up.
into a man, no less.
into a man who will be pleasing before His eyes.
i think the boy inside me is pretty strong and stubborn.
but this boy has really got to give way.
it's time to grow. it's time to grow. it's time to grow. i keep telling myself.
and i sincerely hope that i have got what it takes.

please do pray for me if you can.
thank you! appreciate it.

lagger

2008-06-01T04:08:00.008+08:00

here i am, 4am, awake.
it feels kindof sucky, wanting to sleep but somehow, the body just refuses to cooperate.
maybe it's a case of jet-lag,
or just a case of stress.
i'm stressed because the moment i stepped off the plane, i know i am back into reality.
knowing that it will require good amounts of fighting for the events lined up ahead.

anyway, being awake at 4am means it's a fantastic time to blog.
(dont writers write at the weirdest hour in the weirdest locations in the weirdest positions?)

in case you still dont know, i am already back in singapore.
2 weeks in france just bam. finished.

the competition for team NUS was pretty okay.
we achieved what we sought out to achieve -- that is to finish the race and bring back a result. and to look good in the process.
the team finished 15th out of 50 plus teams. so it's good.
we missed out on the design award, and i am partly to be blamed.
i messed up on the appearance of the wiring, so i apologised to the designer, who looked upset when we realised we came in 3rd or 4th for the design award.
(funnybird, sorry again).
i am ashamed of being a bloody lazy piece of ass.

well, something interesting happened during the competition.
our paddock had 4 teams, including a high-school turkish team.
the competition requires every team to go through a technical inspection before the races start and the turkish team seemed to have trouble getting the inspection clearance.
later, we realised that they were having problems with electrical setup cos their electrical guy didnt join them for the trip.
i saw them getting lots of help from everywhere,
but their problem wasnt getting solved.
incidentally, chongkaisiong is in charge of electricals for teamNus.
but i din wanna step forward because i saw they were getting lots of help and i din wanna embarass myself if i offered help but couldnt solve their problem.
after contemplating whether to offer my help for two days, and with a sense of guilt, and a little tinge of bravado, i asked them: "what's the problem?" at 10plusPM at the end of the second day of the competition, when the turkish team looked pretty damn desperate.
they explained the problem and it was that they were having trouble getting a light to come on when restarting the engine.
i had a similar problem previously when i was setting the nus car.
and so after discussing a possible solution with a turkish elec engineering guy from another team, i offered to help them set the solution up, jokingly saying: if i cant solve your problem, please dont kill me.
all that while, i wasnt really sure if it was going to work because hey, i am an MechEng student for crying out loud. they were getting lots of help from many ElecEng students and they couldnt solve it!
but i decided to just try.
i cut this wire, crimped that lug, used this relay, connected that battery, and with tons of prayer to God, i will never forget the scene when i restarted the engine and the light came on.
the team clapped and i just said "yes!".
chongkaisiong had actually managed to help the turkish team to solve their problem, meaning that they would be able to pass the inspection and to be able to compete, thereby ensuring their trip was not wasted!
i felt pretty damn proud, but also more relieved that their hopes on me were not wasted.
well, as stories go, that turkish team ironically finished 10th overall, with a result thrashing my team.
the turkish teachersIC were really happy with their result and in the paddock, kept pointing to me like their hero or something.
yup, it feels good to have been able to help a team achieve a good result and to be looked at some what sort of a hero. but thats the whole irony of it. i helped a team achieve a good result, but with my own team, i messed it up on the appearance of the wiring part. so i am kept humbly on the ground. God can be really interesting, can He?

the competition ended, and we set off to paris for our own trip.
didnt plan to do much sightseeing cos i had done that last year.
so in the end, my friend and i shopped like crazy.
shopping therapy never felt this good.
and to be able to say that i went to Paris for a shopping trip aint going to happen everytime!

amidst all the shopping, which made me feel kindof happy,
i realised the ugliness of pursuing material luxuries.
everyone must know Louis Vuitton.
the crowd inside that store looked like it was having a 80% clearance sale, but obviously, it wasnt happening.
in actual fact, a towel can cost 200Euros (=S$400) inside there.
and everyone came out of the store with wide smiles.
a bag at LV can easily cost S$1500.
can you imagine the number of people that could have been fed with that kind of money?
how many schools can be built with that kind of money?
i admit, i am also a victim of all these luxury goods at times, but this shopping trip really struck me.
money spent may not be always well spent.
perhaps it's because i cant afford all these now, and so i am still able to keep my distance, but i really pray to God, that should one day i grow to be able to afford all these luxury goods, i will have wisdom to choose.

4.50am.
with each second passing, it means a step closer to the vast unknown.
i can say, i am pretty damn fearful,
with all the expectations.
but fear is good.
it means i am aware of the dangers and the challenges.
it means i will put up a good fight.

yeah!

2008-05-18T00:01:00.004+08:00

seeing another bro&sis get married in the name of the Lord brings joy to everyone.
as i have said before, marriage is such an amazing thing.
well, two people falling in love is already against many odds cos of personality clashes, situational factors, family problems, geographical differences etc etc.
two people in love is already testimony of miracles in life,
but ah, marriage. that's an entirely different thing altogether.
it brings God's miracles to yet another awesome level.
God's love is fully demonstrated in a marriage of two imperfect people, with imperfect characters, trying to build a pleasing family that would be perfect to God.
really happy for Genyao&Siska.
the part where Siska started tearing when reading the vow just touched everyone's hearts.
the love.
ah, the love.
that's what makes the world go round.

and i really thank God for letting Ivy and i have a really good Canon duet for the walk-in.
i made very minor mistake and i was ultra relieved after ending the last note.
really hoped that it made siska's walk-in even more beautiful.
and i really enjoyed playing the solo for Rev. Liow's short sharing.
pure. enjoyment.
here's a big THANK YOU to Ivy for making it possible with her a-m-a-z-i-n-g piano skills.

it's such a waste. really.
i can only shake head,
maybe bang head.
what to do?
hang on to God.

please. if you have 12 minutes to spare, please see the following video.
randy pausch's "the last lecture":
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8577255250907450469
it has the potential to change your outlook on life.
warning: please prepare tissue.

update

2008-05-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

okay, here's a quick update.
yesterday: genyao&siska wedding rehearsal
tmr: genyao&siska wedding
sunday: flying off to france for two weeks
then children's camp.
then OBS for SIA.

so basically it's one thing after another.
but well, life's pretty exciting to say the least.

and yes, i understand.

pilot

2008-05-11T00:50:00.003+08:00

after a long wait, the contract finally arrived.
and it's final, i'm going to sign to become a SIA cadet pilot
and will be starting training on 16 June.
another phase of my life awaits me.
this period suddenly is like a lull.
with nothing much happening.
the car proj done, waiting for SIA training to start.
this one month will be a time to recharge and tie up some loose ends like pack my room, buy some stuff and meet some friends etc.
the future is actually rather foggy and unknown.
but what the heck, whatever comes will come.
and i will be there to fight.

news

2008-05-08T17:44:00.003+08:00

here's what happened over the past few days:

worked like C-R-A-Z-Y with very little sleep, rushing everything and assembling everything.
it was last minute frenzy and some stuff din go that smooth.
but God is good. the problems were solved one by one.

yesterday:
we arrived early to tie up some loose ends and went to university hall to prepare.
a few of us went to the press release where the reporters were briefed about the project and they could ask questions.

then it was the official launch.
there were really many people this year, including Mr. Lee Yuen Hee, CEO of National Environment Agency. (power la).
our team leader gave a short presentation and everyone proceeded outside to unveil the car.

the car before unveiling:

everyone went "wah" after the VIPs pulled back the orange cloth. and all you could hear was applause and the furious clicking of cameras.
the feeling was pretty indescribable.
the car right after unveiling:

the driver took the car for a spin with 2 rounds and after it came back, the team went to the car to take photos.
other people also took many photos.
i mean of course right, admit it, the car looks good.

yeah, this is me! with the carlights on!
and yup, it really opens this way.
very action right?

the rear looks like a spaceship actually.
you should see it travel at night. it's damn fierce.

some last pictures of the car:

today:
i'm in the news! the team appeared in straitstimes and zaobao!
cool huh.

here are the links to the news articles... if you're interested.
http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_235205.html
http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_235087.html
http://www.938live.sg/ListDetail.aspx?SubCategoryID=2&Diff=1&Catgrp=News
http://www.todayonline.com/pdf_main.asp?pubdate=20080508

(link no.2 has a video, so you can see the car travelling.)

yup, so that pretty much marks the halfway mark of our project. (only).
cos we still have the competition coming up.
it still feels like a huge relief having finished up the car and releasing it on the news.
it feels gooooooooood i tell ya.
we have already started packing and getting it ready to be freighted to france.
so i will have one week break before i continue with my mission!
thank God for His provision and blessings upon the project!
hope we make it through the entire competition!

NUS-ECO1

2008-05-08T01:44:00.002+08:00

FINALLY! WE HAD OUR MEDIA LAUNCH!

after working crazily over the past few days, at times 30 hours straight without sleep, we finally had a really successful launch this afternoon.
really thank God for blessing the team.
it was really cool and had lots of people attending the event.
i am too tired to post any pictures now but you can catch the video here:
http://www.straitstimes.com/Home.html
and go to the vodcast section.
look for the article "May 7 2008, A green long distance runner".

yup thank God for seeing us through this crazy period and i will be posting the cool pics of the car soon!

2008-05-03T08:09:00.002+08:00

seriously, i am amazed at my life.
or rather, the lack thereof.
the time i'm spending on the ecocar is... er, how do i put it.... obscene.
it's after the exams and i havent gone out for any dates, for any movies.
not even stepped into the realms of orchard road.
sigh.
and so,
my life has 'no life' written all over it.

but you know what?
wednesday.
wednesday is the day we're going to release the car into the wild.
the day that the car HAS got to be completed.
the day i will be able to go home and finally sleep my head off.
... that is if i dont lose my head before wednesday.

as an aside,
actually i think i might be pretty lost after wednesday.
yeah, we still have packing and shipping to do.
but i guess my life will suddenly be rather... empty.
my tuition would have ended.
the car would have stopped.
all projects gone, all studying gone.
nah, i think i will enjoy my new-found-freedom.
i just want to slack.

last

2008-04-29T22:56:00.002+08:00

finished my very last exam paper in NUS!
(that is if i successfully graduate)
well, it felt special, submitting that paper.
4 years of studying. completed.
to me, uni life just zoomed past me.
although i aint free yet.
the car is still awaiting.
gotto work hard some more!

short

2008-04-27T23:08:00.003+08:00

exam's on tuesday.
gotto work hard for it since it's the last paper for me in NUS.
even after exam, i gotto work hard for the car.
launching the car very soon! no time no time no time...

i did something really important today.
extremely important.

truth

2008-04-17T22:55:00.004+08:00

two important things happened today.
two of the most important things that's been on my mind for a very long time.

i finally got the call from THE company.
they wanted me to join them in May, which obviously i cant cos i'm still a NUS-kia till end of May.
hoping they will re-contact me soon.

and i finally got to know the truth of something.
a difficult truth to accept.
but well, take heart.
that God is good.

one good, one bad.
sort of even it out, aint it.

well, think God-pleasing is still better.

last

2008-04-17T11:03:00.003+08:00

i din even realise that this is my last week of actual schooling in nus until angela told me.
four years, coming to an end very soon.
frankly, i dont feel much for nus.
it's different from hcjc and tchs, where i grew up there.
i guess for nus, i am already grown up.
and so not much memories stick there.
yeah, made some new friends there but still, i guess tchs and hcjc has more flavour to it.

you know, it's good that God is good.
if God wasnt good, then the world would be chaotic (i mean more chaotic than now).
there wouldnt be nice things.
no music, no trees, no sea, no clouds, no flowers, no girls.
and no love.
imagine life without love.
aint that just so sad?
working would be worth nothing.
even breathing would be meaningless.
God put love into this world.
testimony that God is good.

if God wasnt good, it would be raining fire instead of water.
if God wasnt good, day and night would be the same and you will never get a suntan.
if God wasnt good, forests would be the same as deserts and you will not have 'green' in your vocab.
if God wasnt good, the seas would be bare and you will never be able to watch "finding nemo".
so how can anyone actually think that there is no God in this world?
God is everywhere,
if you take time to look.
why drive a lambo or a ferrari where you zoom past everything?
i remember once,
a friend told me "God gave me short legs, so i can walk slowly and admire the things around me".

God is good.
He knows the best
and has the best for us.
have faith in that.

fresh

2008-04-15T11:03:00.002+08:00

last sat concluded my final business module, TR3002, New Venture Creation!
it's been a long way, right from the time i started with the idea of 'selling' my FYP car.
well, i guess it's not exactly allowed since it's property of engineering, but well, it's just an business idea right?
so we formed a group, yaddayadda, and made reports, pptns, etc etc and
this pic shows us -- damn happy -- after the final pptn
(together with our lecturer and our teacher asst)

and of cos, we decided to treat ourselves by going to vivo to have fun.
so there we were, formal attire and all, walking around in vivo.
trying to look like some investment bankers / trainee lawyers.
though we looked more like some shoe and handbag promoters.
we had two cam-whores in our group and so we took tons of 'gek-seh' photos.
here's an example:

we even wore that to arcade!
but it was fun lar.
i am very thankful that i usually have lots of fun with our business project groups!

now, i am back to reality of having to complete two term papers and to complete the long-overdue-eco-car.
we're still waiting for the bodyshell to come in.
what a long wait it's been.

my computer became crazy yesterday.
took forever to load some webpages.
and it was in the same condition as my bro's com.
so i hypothesized that his virus-infected-com diffused into mine.
i was so irritated until i formatted my com yesterday night and now, i have a fresh computer to start with again!
it's always like that.
the dread of having to format the computer. the hassle, the unknown, the downloading this and that, installing and restarting this and that.
but after all of it, i am always happy that i start the computer with a clean slate, much more refreshed and ready-to-go.

i guess us, humans, do need formatting once in a while.
to get rid of filthy stuff, let go of depressing stuff and to start anew, start fresh once again.
reminds me of the very first verse in the scripture memory:
"therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come" ~2 Cor 5:17

caught

2008-04-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

and now i am caught in the middle of two things.
well sort of.
it will resolve itself, i know.
just have to believe in God's timing.

FYP thesis: this week.
Biz plan submission: this week.
Biz plan presentation: this week.
Rewiring: this week.

oh, instead of feeling the stress, i am feeling happy that a lot of things will be cleared this week.
so thank God for that.

i need more energy, more motivation and more of everything.
please provide, i plead.

okay

2008-04-06T21:56:00.007+08:00

sermon for today was about handling depression.
and we watched this short clip about 'nick'.
it's amazing how a man with no limbs can reach out to over 1 million people for Christ.

doesnt it just make you wonder what are you doing with your life?

had sundaysch committee meeting also.
we decided to have children camp this year!
yeah and i'm in the committee as vice-chair/progIC.
in june, which means that we aint got not much time left.

i'm finding it really difficult to complete my FYP thesis.
we've been building the car. yes.
but how do you actually write a good report on that?
the car is testimony to our hard work. report? sigh.

does it pain you to know that you may never be able to grasp the thing that you really want?
that even if you try hard, it may never come.
and some stuff, it cant be forced.
just like how you cannot force the sun to rise from the west.
i guess that's life for you.

all i can say:
fight, kaisiong, fight.

now

2008-04-04T06:56:00.002+08:00

thank God.

FYP draft report is due next week.
and i am like 10% done.
it's going to be exciting.
we've been so busy just building the car that our reports arent done.
well, you lose some and you gain some.

4/5 of the journey is completed.
really praying for the last stage to be cleared.
shalt not be afraid.

wentworth_miller is officially one of the shuai-est guys i have ever seen.
george_clooney edges him out, but hey, miller is younger.
michael_scofield is so smart and so seh.

time and money, which do you want?
people with lots of time, yearn for money.
people with lots of money, yearn for time.
is time and money mutually exclusive?

shiok

2008-03-31T11:08:00.002+08:00

i decided not to set the alarm clock yesterday and just wake up when i felt like it.
and so i woke up at 9am.
shiok man.
and till now, i havent start on any work,
cos i've been surfing cnet.com, QT-ing, reading some worthlessrubbishmagazines.
it's bliss.
to do whatever, and anything you wanna do.
even when there's lots of things to be done.
but aint it okay to self-indulge for sometimes?

i heard this funny quote:
"doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark,
you know what you're doing, but nobody else does."

wednesday is going to be important.
thursday is going to be even more important.

cant wait for May to arrive.
oh, she's such a sweet being.
she grants me freedom more than i can imagine.
and she takes my mind off whatever is worrying.
her fragrance is better than the finest rose.
her eyes captures me into an utopia.
May, please come soon.

dream

2008-03-30T22:59:00.003+08:00

i've got a lot on my hands.
some stuff, i can settle.
some stuff, i can only depend on God to give or not give me.
some stuff, i realise, beg also no use.
just have to believe that God is good.

at some moments, my heart is practically melting with excitement.
"do not be anxious about anything..."
it's not easy, isnt it?
sometimes, maybe giving your best shot may fail to reach the target.
but so long that shot was the best.

argh.
some things are just so out of control.

in the end, i didnt go to Bintan.
didnt go with the three girls.
aint that just stupid, because i have to study.
already, this is the first sacrifice i have to make.

oh please,
tell me it's good.

cookie

2008-03-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

and so again, i am waiting for the heater.

time is not on our side.
certainly.
we're just waiting and waiting for the body shell to be completed.

i have several reports due.
very soon.
not good.

i'm going to bintan this weekend.
with three pretty girls.
what fantastic luck!

it's going to be important tomorrow.
really important.

as much as i know God listens to us.
sometimes some things just dont happen the way we really hope it would be.
and it just makes you question the reality of God.
and that's where faith comes in.
to believe in the almighty, all-knowing and all-loving God.
that He's in control.
and He's on our side.

know

2008-03-23T00:31:00.002+08:00

as you know, the heater in my house trains our time management indirectly. you have to switch it on fifteen minutes before you actually step into the shower. but oftentimes, we switch it on, do something else whilst waiting, get hooked onto that something, and we have to switch it on again later, wait, and continue doing that something, and switch it on again etc etc, and so we often wait 45 minutes before the actual shower.
yeah, you get the idea.

anyway, i was waiting for the daily 45-mins ritual when i chanced upon the blog of an old friend. realised that he and i have lots in common! we both think we should have been in arts not engg, loves to read, can read almost everything in sight, look guai but is someway/sometimes rebellious etc, but well, he's an atheist. kind of sad at that. he's actually my flute junior back in chinese high. i still remember his famous quote: i get orgas-ed when i play the flute. i still remember that after so long. aint i not surprised, since he was in SYO, and now in NUSWS, and going to have a recital soon.

did you ever know that i actually enjoy jogging? yar, i like it, when i am not forced to or under some timing restriction (the famous 11:40). as with many things, i like it when i am not forced. i woke up on good friday, feeling good. and i changed into my running gear and drove to macritchie to run! it's been so long ago since i last ran there, so it felt r-e-a-l-l-y good. ran all the way up to the rubbish treetop walk and back down. (it's in a way, preparation for my mount kinabalu trip).
trail running is fun. it makes you think about life.
like how it can get really rocky and difficult on steep slopes.
like how it can get easy and quick on downslopes.
like how sometimes it's bright as day but at times, shady and dark.
like how sometimes you are blocked by inconsiderate people. and at other times, you see someone nice enough to smile and say "hello".
like how you reach the end, and just whisper a hint of "thank God".
it's fun.

had a test run this morning under the bright morning sun. got decent results. not impressive. decent. then went home, showered, changed and met jessica alba for dinner. er, wrong. showered, changed and went for tuition. and then, i was feeling so tired that i wanted to skip cg. in the end, i went (it was at ken's house) and enjoyed myself there. :)

okay, so the semester is ending soon and i will officially be unable to pay $5.80 for pool. and then, there comes a time when i will meet a guy who sucks me dry and is called 'the boss'. oh cmon. it also means that i will double my current bank account in no time. $2 x 2 = $4.

it's confirmed.
my legs will ache tmr.

the coldness stabs into the heart and freezes hell over.
it does.

randomness is the way we make a sedentary life a bit more hip.

my eyes are usually 7.86 mm open.
lately, it's 7.48 mm because of the tiring schedule.
right now? it's 2.59 mm.

esplanade

2008-03-18T22:40:00.004+08:00

i went to esplanade library for the first time yesterday!
wah, it's a heaven for musicians.
soooooooo many music scores!
plus it's very very pretty.
ivy and i were quite amazed by the collection there.
i went to the flute section and started to pick out all the rubbishy pieces.
and when we wanted to borrow, we realised that only premium members could borrow them!
argh. :(
but we found a way out. which includes a bit of an illegal practice.
so in the end, we still ended up with some nice pieces.
and i still ended up with some rubbishy pieces.
haha.

we just heard that mr.yaacob_ibrahim will be coming to our 'high-level launch and press release' of our vehicle.
stress lar.
man, and that means that the tv crew will be there.
and that means i better go to the gym more often from today onwards.
what if they decide to rope me into mediacorp?!

day dreaming is something i am a natural at.
no doubt.

i'll be going to bintan next weekend. (HOPEFULLY).

some things i just dont understand.

我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

sad

2008-03-16T22:35:00.003+08:00

i feel very sad for my friend.
he's been chasing this girl for quite some time already, think a year plus.
go out, accompany her to work, accompany her to see doctor, accompany her to classes etc etc.
all this while, he's been trying to protect this girl from 'bad guys' cos she was tempted to go back to her ex-bf who used to beat her.
but in the end, after so long, she got t'er with this NS boy, who once courted her but in the end, went with another girl.
and she said that she treats my friend as a best friend.
sigh.
actually, i'm both happy and sad for him.
happy cos he finally realised that she's still immature and not suitable.
sad cos he spent so much effort to win her over.
but well, i guess love in this world is like that.
this guy likes this girl, but this girls likes that guy, but that guy likes that girl, but that girl likes a gay.
something like that.
and love is something that cannot be forced.
that's why i say that a marriage is kind of a miracle that God puts in this world.

God is good.

the weekend is ending soon.
and it's back to the hustle and bustle of a hustler.
er, i mean an engineer.
er, i mean a student.
the sem's coming to an end. very soon.
good and bad.
cos NUS can be loved or hated.
for example, i can tell that this guy doesnt like NUS too much.

i think NUS is okay at times.
but anyway,
i'm going to leave it soon.

i'm in search of an adventure after i grad.
(if i grad.)
i am thinking of backpacking europe alone.
or climb kota kinabalu.
or learn diving.
or go overseas and teach poor children.
or anything that will excite me.
but i know myself, if i keep considering this one and that one, i wont get anything done in the end.
someone please pester me to decide on one and act upon it please.
or maybe i will do all the above but spread it over a few years...
yup.

my handphone spoil.

it's never easy when you're trying.

waiting

2008-03-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

i am waiting again.
for my heater and for my dad's phonecall.
God likes to make me wait.

ya. i play the flute. no matter how surprising it may be.
i played it in my secondary school days when i was in my school band.
looking back, sometimes i wished that i was in some sports team.
but well, if i never joined band, i would be a complete music nerd now.
i dont play it very well anymore actually.
kindof wasted, cos i remembered that my tone aint that bad.
and my fingering much slower and i dont have the stamina to play for long.
that's what time does to you.

i wished i had more time to read.
i mean more time and energy.

maybe some ice cream would be great.
ice cream should be the next best invention, after electricity.

i'm going to school tomorrow.
i'm going to school on friday.
aint that just earth-shattering news.

i think i aint making any sense now.

monday

2008-03-10T10:19:00.003+08:00

monday...
i know many people dread mondays.
well, i dont.
simply because i dont have classes on monday!
so for today, i will just stay at home to do up my business report.
and i'll try to practise my flute in the afternoon...
because ivy and i will be trying to play this:

(note: will be trying. as in i am sure ivy will be able to emulate that pianist. but me? i think i need 1325 more years...)
i always wonder how does anyone play a flute like THAT.
plus she looks so seh with her short hair.
i also have short hair, but why i cannot play like her?!!!

and i recently coined a phrase which i told my sister.
"all guys should learn to be clooney-cool. but some guys end up only rooney-cool. some really sad guys end up with absolutely-no-clue."
i guess that's what school&work does to you.
you try to find forms of ~~cheap~~ free thrill.

second

2008-03-08T23:07:00.002+08:00

second run for UrbaNUS today...
and we did it on the NUS track.
ran pretty well... thank God!
shiok lar, cos i pestered my team leader to let me go out for two rounds.
:)
and we achieved an okay fuel consumption rating.
cant reveal it yet cos the car not officially launched.
(for the benefit of everyone, this car will be competing in France for an eco-marathon race, where the team with the lowest fuel consumption wins.)
and i have videos, but again, cant show it cos not officially launched.
we're hoping that we'll appear on all the news and newspapers...
some photos to entertain everyone on a sat night...

the whole team ~~pretending~~ to be hard at work

my display finally got numbers other than 'zeros'.

after the test run in the morning, i rushed down to Jianrong's and Meiying's wedding!
cool man, to see yet another couple wedded to become one.
it's sweet!
marriage is such a miracle in the society nowadays.
God's miracle.

test

2008-03-07T23:51:00.003+08:00

it's already march 7!!!
the time for our car to fully roll out is depleting as rapid as the oil reserves on earth.
my team members and i are practically just automotive engineers nowadays.
parttime students only.
it gets tiring sometimes but pride & honour of rolling the car out to the media is pushing us on.
there's a test run tomorrow morning.
it's going to be important.
praying for God's blessings.

it was a good day today.

day

2008-03-02T22:42:00.005+08:00

i am in charge of the brakes and the electricals (!) for the car.
i'm a mechanical engineer by training. so you understand the (!)
here's some pictures to show that i sweat blood and bleed tears and cry sweat over this car:

the headlights and blinkers:

the brakes and blinkers:

the ubercool display:
(yeah, it's all zeros. dont complain)

behind all these cool stuff and lighting, actually lies a whole mess of wires!
much like what lies inside a ultra pretty jessica alba is pretty much very complicated too.
and this is the messed up jumble of wires which i talked about previously.
it's all red wires going here and there and everywhere and somewhere and God knows where.
and sadly, fairy godmother din turn up in the night to clear it up.
so here's the picture to prove this predicament:

however, i couldnt sleep well, knowing that my team leader will most likely electrocute me to death if i let it remain like that and seriously, i couldnt stand the mess also.
so i went down on saturday and exercised my utmost patience and made the mess into this:

if you think it's STILL messy, please understand that there are more than 30 metres of wires down there. so you cant really expect it to be as neat and orderly as huang wenyong's hair.

it's a been good day today.
holy communion was really sweet today because i've been trying hard to be pleasing before God. really hard lor.
and we celebrated jingrui and peter bday. i could take a day off without thinking too much so it was good.
and i jogged today!
albeit on the threadmill cos God decided to let Singaporeans enjoy a bit of the English weather for today.
although not as liberating as running outdoors, it was still good.
thank God for that!!

wires

2008-02-29T23:45:00.005+08:00

i am tired...
spend the entire day wiring up the car, and not done yet.
the wires are in a complete mess.
see what i mean?

but the components are working well. :)
didnt do anything about the messed up jumble and went home.
the wires are sooooo messy that when i look at it, i just want to run away.
my friend said it looks like HDB wiring.
i'm hoping that fairy godmother will tidy it up overnight...

and i miss the time i had to jog.
the free evenings for me to just jog,
i miss that so much.
now i understand why working people start to develop tummies,
when you reach home, you just want to rest!

my back is hurting.
"thai massage, 20 baht"
argh, i so want to hear that.

and i want to eat hagendasz ice cream!

i realised something important.
it's about who i am, and not what i own.

engineers

2008-02-25T22:50:00.003+08:00

saw this thing on facebook.
found it quite interesting!

Top Ten Reasons to Date an Engineer:
10. The world does revolve around us... we choose the coordinate system.
9. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment".
8. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship.
7. We have significant figures.
6. We understand the motion of rigid bodies.
5. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more?
4. Engineers do it to specification.
3. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
2. We know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force.
1. WE KNOW THE RIGHT HAND RULE!

we made our maiden run last friday!
it was successful without much glitches.
praise be to our God!
here are some uber cool photos my friend took...

this is just the beginning, since the bodyshell is not here yet.
please wait patiently for the true UrbaNUS

run

2008-02-22T10:31:00.004+08:00

thank God!
i managed to find a shop in AMK which hosed the two rear brakes of the car.
so we should be in good shape to make our maiden run this evening.
we stayed till 2.30am yesterday to tune up everything.
praying that everything goes well tonight...

saw somethin very interesting just now.
i was having my QT when i heard a group of jogging people singing "everywhere we go, people wana know, who we are, where we come from, so we tell them, we are from..." coming from downstairs.
been ages since i heard that and i thought cannot be some army platoon since there wasn't any army camps nearby.
i thought it might be some track&field team from a school nearby.
i looked out of my window and ALAS!
it was a group of POLICEMEN and POLICEWOMEN in their standard blue uniform jogging along the road!
i was truly impressed. it made the police look really good and it definitely enhanced my impression of them.
i guess it makes the citizens of singapore feel more safe knowing that our police jogs around the neighbourhood.

btw singapore won the bid for the first Youth Olympics to be held in 2010.
congrats!

and NUS owes me damn a lot of money.

sometimes

2008-02-19T11:44:00.003+08:00

my house has a central heating system where you switch on a heater and
you wait and you wait and you wait some more for the heater to warm up the water so that you'll be assured of a nice warm bath that wont catch you with cold water towards the end of the bath.
so while waiting for this eternity, i shall blog a bit.

well, the brakes are up. nicely.
and guess what, the brake hoses arent up.
so we wait some more.
why am i always caught in this waiting game?
somehow.

is goodness uncool and unattractive?
there's a fine line.
somewhere.

you know,
sometimes i just feel like i am upside down, inside out, downwards up and sideways right.
in other words, messed up.
not in obvious parts of my life.
but in some parts.

God has blessed me plentifully with a great family.
but i dont have a particularly great r/s with my dad.
that's something i am always rather ... sad about.
if you remember a show called 'chicken little', i happen to feel like that chicken.
i dont mean that i am a chicken. i just feel like chicken little.
i cant communicate with him.
we dont quarrel, we dont fight.
it's just,
we dont talk.
he's a great father. believe me.
it's just,
we dont talk.

with each second slipping by us,
there will come a time when i have to make big and important decisions.
like deciding upon a career.
and i ask myself:
am i up to it?

are we, christian men, adverse to taking risks?
if our Lord, our God, is so almighty and powerful,
why are we so afraid of taking risks?
wont He be behind us?
"As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelities were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning" Gen 17:11
maybe it's just me.

well, it's just some random thoughts
and damn,
i think the water has warmed up and cooled down already.